To the one loyal reader of this blog, I apologize.
You know who you are.
For the rest of my invisible audience: hi, I'm Kaye and believe it or not, I am a big baby when it comes to the terrible, creepy and downright evil.
I do a good job of acting like I'm not. I've got Forensic Files on my Netflix queue and My Favorite Murder in my favorite podcast app. I can recite the whole Freddy Krueger rhyme by heart and managed to watch Evil Dead 2 (say a prayer for the poor, innocent child I was) one night at my grandma's house during the summer. Shirley Jackson is one of my favorite authors.
And as you know, I nearly made it through the entirety of The Exorcist - which reminds me that I probably shouldn't be writing this post while staring up my own set of dark, brooding wooden stairs.
But deep down inside, I think it's all a game of "the more you learn about this, the less it'll scare you." And if it didn't work with spiders - UGH - it probably won't work with the unsettling knowledge that I live in the same world that has housed Ted Bundy, the Zodiac Killer and the billion installments of Halloween.
(Speaking of Halloween: anyone else hoping that Jamie can just finish the job this time so that Michael can't get out of jail AGAIN when she's finally on her deathbed? It's been her entire life. #JusticeforJamie)
Anyway, I know it's not good for me or my sanity or my sleep. But darn it if I don't cave to the spooky mood of the autumn season every time anyway. And when I saw a friend post about the #31HorrorFilms31Days challenge, I was like, "Oh, look, someone out there made it harder by giving you two things you can't resist: something to blog about and a list."
UGH. FINE.
So I made a list of 31 movies I probably won't watch because I haven't even been able to creep my way through the second episode of Korean horror drama The Guest (as seen/freaked out about in my autumn wishlist post!) and that's only forty-five minutes of gory, possessed ghastliness.
Some notes:
a. This is not meant to be in any particular order.
b. A few (as indicated by a star) are rewatches for research purposes and also for the fact that now I've endured them, I know when and where to switch tabs and mute and twiddle my thumbs for a few minutes. Did I tell you already I'm a big baby?
c. You saw how Summer Spooks went. I doubt I'm reviewing any of this stuff on here. So exhale and relax.
d. Not that you wanted to know, but it took a lot of willpower to not put Abbott and Costello Meet Dracula on this list. I'll probably watch it anyway.
And I also forgot Attack the Block, What We Do In The Shadows and The House on Haunted Hill. Add that in, too.
#31HorrorFilms31 Days 2018
The Wailing
Soon after a stranger arrives in a small village in Korea, a mysterious sickness starts spreading. A policeman who is drawn into the incident finds himself forced to solve the mystery, particularly when his young daughter gets involved.
Hush
A deaf writer who retreated in the woods to live a solitary, peaceful life must fight for her life in a game of cat-and-mouse with a psychopathic stalker.
I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives in The House
A young nurse charged with the care of an elderly and wasting author starts to wonder if her charge, and the mansion she lives in, are haunted.
The Shining
A family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter, where an evil spiritual presence starts to influence the actions of the father and draws out psychic power from the young son who must stand against him.
The Silence of the Lambs
A rookie FBI recruit is pulled out of her training at Quantico to interview a diabolical serial killer in order to track down another.
The Wicker Man
An honest young police officer is sent to a reclusive Scottish village in order to follow up on the disappearance of a young girl. He is mystified by the villagers' insistence that this girl never existed, and by the rites they partake in.
Dracula (1930)
An ancient vampire arrives in England and wreaks havoc on the innocent and unsuspecting society there.
Dracula (1992)
An ancient vampire arrives in England, intent on forcing a young woman to be his immortal bride.
Cloverfield
Told through a found footage format, this story centers on a group of friends venturing deep into the streets of New York during a mysterious monster attack.
10 Cloverfield Lane
After getting into a car accident, a young woman finds herself trapped in a bunker with two men who claim the outside world has succumbed to a chemical attack.
It (1990)
In 1960, a group of misfit friends wage war against a shapeshifting demon posing as a clown. Decades later, they reunite in order to destroy it once and for all.
The Haunting of Hill House
A group of siblings grew up in one of America's most infamous haunted houses. Years later, they must return to face their own personal tragedies and the inherent darkness lurking within their former home.
The Cabin in the Woods
Five friends are excited for their weekend cabin retreat, but find out there's a dark secret to the home they've rented.
The Witch
A family in 1630s New England is torn apart by black magic, possession and witchcraft.
Insidious
A family tries to protect their comatose son from becoming a host to evil spirits.
Friday the 13th
A group of young camp counselors are stalked by an unknown assailant while trying to open a camp that has been closed for decades after a tragic drowning.
The Sixth Sense
A young boy who sees spirits confides in a child psychologist.
Nosferatu
An ancient, ghastly vampire moves to a new residence and haunts his realtor's beautiful young wife.
Psycho
A secretary evading the law checks into a remote hotel run by a bizarre young man and his overbearing mother.
It Follows
A young woman is the newest victim of an unknown supernatural force after an encounter with a romantic interest.
Frankenstein (1930)
A young man tries to play God and regrets it.
Shaun of the Dead
A young man deals with trying to win back his ex-girlfriend, reconciling with his difficult mother, and the sudden zombie invasion at his back door.
The Orphanage
A young woman returns with her husband and son to the orphanage she was raised in, only for chilling events to occur.
Alien
After a space merchant vessel intercepts a distress call, its landing on the source moon finds an unknown and terrible life form has attacked the crew there.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
A hypnotist uses the help of a somnambulist for his own dark purposes.
A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night
In the Iranian ghost town Bad City, the townspeople are unaware that there is a vampire in their midst.
The Forest of Lost Souls
The Forest of Lost Souls is dense, dark and Portugal's favorite place for suicide. On a summer morning, two strangers with unknown purposes meet in these woods.
The Birds*
A wealthy San Francisco socialite follows her new boyfriend to a remote town and is horrified, along with its inhabitants, when the local bird population starts to turn against them.
The Blair Witch Project*
A group of young college students set out to document a local urban legend, but disappear, leaving unfinished footage.
A Nightmare on Elm Street*
Young Nancy and her friends try to evade a supernatural killer that attacks when they are unable to defend themselves: during their sleep.
Halloween*
Laurie's quiet Halloween plans of babysitting and eating popcorn are tossed out the window when notorious murderer Michael Myers escapes from the mental asylum he has been kept in.
There you have it. Watch me tear through all the black-and-whites and avoid everything else.
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