Mood: Striped Socks and Sunlight Through Kitchen Windows.

I always want to be more than who I feel I am at the moment.

There seems to be some key formula to being a well-rounded, confident adult that I lack. Everyone else posts YouTube videos with impeccable eyeliner, link arms with a well-matched significant other, know the right way of matching patterns that seem to clash on even the most open minded mannequin, and - of course - cook dishes that their plethora of lovely, unaging friends coo over at their weekly dinner parties.

At least, that is how the world looks from the vantage point of my Instagram feed.

And I know it's not true, that everyone from the most enviable of Buzzfeed producers to that one friend who always seems to be jetting off to Hawaii is just trying to figure the world out. But that doesn't stop me from feeling that there are some things I could be doing more of and maybe those things are what keep the gray cloud over my head and the sunshine from pooling into the cold floorboards that line my heart.

Like cooking.

Mood: Sun's Out, Spooky Scary Skeletons Out (My #31HorrorFilms31Days Shortlist)

To the one loyal reader of this blog, I apologize.

You know who you are.

For the rest of my invisible audience: hi, I'm Kaye and believe it or not, I am a big baby when it comes to the terrible, creepy and downright evil.

Mood: Feeling Fall and Feeling Fine.

...That may be the most nonsensical post title I've written to date.

Anyway, it's been a while. The hellish season of extreme heat has had to crawl back under its rock. I honestly don't know why I used to be a huge fan of summer, but now I can assure you I've seen the light and gladly welcome the season of apples, pumpkin spice, crisp sunlight and haunted houses with open arms.

That's right. It's finally autumn!

Rejoice, rejoice, and drag out all your sweaters. But don't wear them all at one time.

Okay. So. New season means a seasonal wishlist, which means stuff that I want to do because it feels like the thing to do this season but probably will forget about until November 29th and fling myself forward into a mad dash before the Christmas carols and peppermint everything distracts me entirely.

Without further ado...

Feeling Fall:

The Wishlist

Mood: Overheated and O.J.

american crime story: the people v.s. oj simpson

usa | 2016

10 episodes

available on netflix

Well, now, this is something new.

Mood: Amethyst Skies and Amélie

amelie

france | 2001

available on netflix

"Amélie is a fanciful comedy about a young woman who discretely orchestrates the lives of the people around her, creating a world exclusively of her own making. Shot in over 80 Parisian locations, acclaimed director Jean-Pierre Jeunet ("Delicatessen"; "The City of Lost Children") invokes his incomparable visionary style to capture the exquisite charm and mystery of modern-day Paris through the eyes of a beautiful ingenue."

a warning, gentle reader, that this movie is r-rated for good reasons and most of them boiling down to: THE FRENCH.

oh, the french.

Mood: Bleeding Pink Saris and A Book For the Moment (No One Can Pronounce My Name by Rakesh Satyal)

no one can pronounce my name

rakesh satyal

adult literary fiction | contemporary

picador, 2017

currently on sale at $2.99 on amazon kindle

Mood: Crimson Mouth, Conjuring Curse

(Please to forgive the uncreative and frankly confusing post title.

I've started running out of creative ways to term my watercolor moods.

also, once again, this is an unofficial entry in my unofficial summer spooks 2018 series.)

the conjuring

us | 2013

available on netflix

"In 1970, paranormal investigators and demonologists Lorraine and Ed Warren are summoned to the home of Carolyn and Roger Perron. The Perrons and their five daughters have recently moved into a secluded farmhouse, where a supernatural presence has made itself known. Though the manifestations are relatively benign at first, events soon escalate in horrifying fashion, especially after the Warrens discover the house's macabre history."

I do not expect this to be an extensive review (though, now that I look over my notes, it may be one peppered with spoilers, so consider this your advance warning).

Mainly because I cannot think of enough phrases that would serve as synonyms for "Never again." I could not explain to you why I would think, after my experience with The Exorcist, that I would be all snug and comfy with another movie based on possession, hideous demons and horribly patterned 80s-esque staircases, but...I don't ever seem to learn.

Mood: Make Mine Mad Matte (Clio Mad Matte Lipstick in Russet Rose and Crimson Rose)

So this originally started out as a foray into my growing lip collection. And then, I got sidetracked by categorization, as one does when one is a person who enjoys making lists but also enjoys dividing that list a hundred times over until you forget the reason why you started the list to begin with.

And then, the mail arrived with another impulse buy and all became clear: start small and work your way up!

(As God is my witness, I likely will not hold to this and you will see another post from me in which I take exhaustive pictures of every tint, balm and stain currently lined up on my dresser, but I am feeling quite professional at the moment so let me have this.)

As it happened, that package was a sign in more than one way, because this happens to be one of my favorite formulas. Which, if you know me, may come as a total shocker due to the very name of this lipstick line: the Clio Mad Matte.

Dun dun dun! 

Mood: Black and Blue and The Babadook.

this shall be the unofficial first post in my summer 2018 spooks series, in which i - an unapologetic and utterly incurable scaredy cat - indulge my annual pining for something to send shivers down my spine and watch horror movies.

is this wise? my sleeping habits and my nerves deign to think not. but i will do it anyway. because i am unapologetic, incurable and unrepentant in my bad habits.

the babadook

au | 2014

available on netflix

"A single mother, plagued by the violent death of her husband, battles with her son's fear of a monster lurking in the house, but soon discovers a sinister presence all around her."

Mood: Pensive Blues and Proper Persuasion.

Mood: Party Time, Pipsticks! (May 2018 Pro Club mailing)

Nothing brings out the Gollum in me more than a glossy sheet of stickers.

My preciousssssssssssss.

Mood: The Very Pink of Podcasts. (But Possibly Not Propriety.)

Confession time: I was one of those people who never, ever considered podcasts.

Mood: Sunny Skies and Starting Fresh.

Here we are once again.

A new blog, a blinking cursor, and a girl with her fingers poised expectantly on the keyboard.

It is amazing to realize how things have changed for me since the last time I started a blog: fifteen, overstimulated and in awe at all the Internet had to offer - but, at the very same time, sure that all those sparking, stunning connections and coincidences held no cards to offer me. How wrong I was, and how grateful I now am: for all that has happened since, and for the opportunity to forge a new sense of relative anonymity in a corner like I always have since that very first blog.

A new chance for my voice to flourish, or flounder, or spend its day aimlessly kicking its feet behind it as it browses through Netflix as it so pleases.

I cannot wait to experience every mood in its bright-hued, fresh stroke of marvelousness. And if you are reading, I hope you are excited for this return to Watercolor Moods too.